Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. - George Carlin
Free Funny Fart Sounds
Shouldn't you be working, or something?
Here you are, listening to fart sounds. Now why are you so fascinated with farts, anyway? Don't tell us you've turned up the volume on your speakers and are clicking the fart buttons below just to gross out your co-workers, because we really don't want to know that.
By the way, our scientific research (funded by a government grant) has shown that 87.3% of the people who come to our site are male. We're currently doing another study to determine if it really is true that a Y chromosome is required to enjoy this fart site. We'll see. In the mean time, have at it.
Click buttons to hear fart sounds.
Short and sweet
I'll pretend I didn't hear that
Get me outta here
Do that again
As I swept the net for educational news and the answer to the meaning of life, I stumbled upon this intriguing website dedicated to the filtered air of human feces before birth. At first, I was a little drawn back by the low of the "Down Low” or the distance of the "Hollow” but it was the "Squeak” that put a smile on my face. At last, the truth to life and all my questions answered. For within the squeak lies the sound of one man or women trying so hard only to get a small shriveled result, but you know what? You have to try, try and try again until you reach the power of a “Get Me Outta Here.” The only thing missing is an “Oh My, Something's Not Right.” Keep up the good work.
Shortest Fairytale Ever
Once upon a time, a boy asked a girl to marry him. "No," she said and lived happily ever after. She went shopping, never cooked, had a clean house, drank martinis with friends, stayed skinny, had a closet full of shoes and purses and was never farted on.